


Overflowing Pockets

by HappyLeech



Category: Garden Spells - Sarah Addison Allen, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Characters to be added, Dragging Taako kicking and screaming into caring about others, Gen, More Adventure Zone than Garden Spells, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, magical gifts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyLeech/pseuds/HappyLeech
Summary: Taako has a gift and not just for transmutation magic.An AU wherein Taako has some extra magic in the form of giving people what they need, whether they know it or not





	1. Chapter 1

When Taako is young, when he still lives with the aunt who taught him to cook, there is an apple tree in the backyard. His aunt keeps it hidden, out of sight, but Taako knows it’s there. It throws apples at him, after all.

He asks why it does that, and his aunt laughs, ruffles his hair, and asks if he ate one.

“I don’t like apples,” he tells her instead of answering and she laughs again before sending him to get more honeysuckles for the wine.

Years later he returns and, for reasons he can’t remember, picks seven apples.

* * *

 

“Here.”

 

Taako, since joining up with Magnus and Merle, was limited in what he could carry on himself. That meant that most of what extra he carried with himself was small and easily contained to pockets and empty spaces in his pack. That meant that the set of chisels that he’d just given Magnus was one of the larger items he’d been carrying with him.

Magnus picked up the chisels, looked up at him uncertainly, before tucking the set away in his pack. “Thanks, Taako. What’s, uh, what’s the occasion?”

Taako took a seat next to Merle and shrugged. “Dunno, my dude. You’ll need them eventually though. So, when is this cousin of yours showing up?”

Merle, who was several drinks in, shrugged. “Gundren will show up when he shows up. You didn’t bring anything for me?”

“Nope,” Taako said, popping the p. “Don’t have anything on me that you need.” He was sure, though, that he had something for Merle’s cousin.

 

It turned out what he had was for Gundren’s bodyguard, some human named Barry Bluejeans who took the offered handkerchief with a measure of suspicion, but used it before the night was done when he choked on his cider and started coughing.

 

The next morning Taako was last to the wagon they were transporting, climbing in the back with Merle and a dog while Magnus got them on the road.

At least the dog treats he’d grabbed that morning made more sense, now.

“So, what’s up with giving people stuff?” Merle asked, and Taako sighed, slumping down next to a crate of apples. He was honestly surprised that it took that long for one of them to ask.

“No idea. I just get this itch that tells me I need to give someone something,” he shrugged. “A family thing, I think, but don’t ask why or how cuz I don’t have a clue.”

The dog, Ruby, snuffed and made herself comfortable in Taako’s lap, pawing at his shirt until he rolled his eyes and tossed a few of the dog treats down for her.

“Huh. Weird.” The pair of them sat for a while, watching Ruby as she laid down next to Taako, clearly deciding he was the one she liked the best. “Hey, toss me an apple, would ya?”

Taako made a face but chucked one over anyway. He was about to compline about Merle’s choice in fruit when the wagon stopped and Magnus motioned them to the front.

“I think we have trouble, guys.” He said, nodding his head out ahead of them. It took Taako a second before he realized that not only were there dead horses in the middle of the road but that they had company approaching. “Shit.”

 

The three of them fell into the comfortable feeling of battle, the only diversions being when the top of their wagon caught fire, which Taako promptly put out, and when Merle had to go and hunt down the gerblin that his axe was stuck in.

“So, I don’t think this bodes well for your cousin or that Barry guy,” Magnus said, standing over the dead horses.

“Really, what gave you that idea?” Taako asked, reaching down and picking up an empty map canister. “Was it the dead horses? Or was it the trail that leads into the brush?”

Ignoring him, Merle made to head down the trail before Magnus stopped him. “The cart, remember? We should probably make sure that doesn’t get nabbed.”

 

As they moved the cart and oxen off the road, Taako poked his head into the back. Ruby was laying by a bundle of cloth, and Taako dumped half of the remaining dog treats into the back for her, an incentive for her to stay put and watch the cart. And if he took a couple things out of the back, she wasn’t going to tell.

* * *

 

If Taako was being honest, he’d have to say that he really hated the cave that they were in. Sure, he hadn’t been flung around by the water that hit Merle and Magnus, but now he was stuck in a cave with a bugbear named Klaarg that he’d charmed, feeding dog treats to a wolf and playing nice.

“I have oolong!” Klaarg said, coming back into the room, stepping past the bodies on the floor and holding a tea tray. “Oh, are you getting along with Percival, Taako?

The wolf looked up as Klaarg approached, his tail thumping against the ground as he bit into another Fantasy Milk Bone Dental Chew. Taako also looked up, before standing to move to the table that Magnus and Merle were sitting at.

“Yep, I think we’re buds now. Thank you, Klaarg.” Taako took one of the offered cups of tea, inhaling the scent. He never was partial to tea, but today seemed like a tea day. “This is delicious.”

 

Between taking sips of tea and talking, Taako dug into his pockets, ignoring how Klaarg seemed to be slowly gravitating closer to him. He knew there was something else he needed to pass on, and he grinned triumphantly as he finally pulled out a small bag of slightly squished tea balls. “Here, I think you could use these. I don’t know much about tea, so I’m sure you’ll appreciate them more than I will.” Klaarg gasped, carefully taking the package with star-struck eyes. “So, Klaarg, we’re looking for someone—”

“Gundren,” both Magnus and Merle interrupted, and he shot them the stink eye. He knew what he was doing.

“Yes, a dwarven fellow named Gundren. You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, what happened to him, do you?” Taako took another sip of tea, before setting the nearly empty cup down. Hopefully, Klaarg didn’t take that as an opportunity to pour him another cup. He seemed nice enough while charmed, but Taako didn’t want to be here when it wore off.

“Oh! Yes, we, well. We gave him away. A fellow, calling himself The Black Spider, hired us to waylay Gundren and deliver him.” Klaarg chuckled as he put his gift from Taako to the side while the rest of them exchanged worried looks.

“Well, it’s been, it’s been a pleasure, Klaarg. Thank you so much for hosting us,” Taako said finally, pushing back from the table. “But we really must be going.”

“Oh.” If Taako didn’t know that it was the spell, he’d almost think that Klaarg was genuinely disappointed by the news. “I do hope you’ll come and visit, Taako. And your friends too, of course. Before you go, that chest there—” he motioned to the side. “Go ahead and take anything you want.”

“Thank you, Klaarg,” Magnus said, emptying the chest while Taako and Merle got themselves situated. “We really appreciate this.”

“Do you appreciate it enough for a hug?” Klaarg asked with a toothy grin.

* * *

 

Getting out of the cave was easier than Taako thought it’d be. Barry was upright and walking, which made getting out of there and back to the wagon a lot easier, even if they could all hear Klaarg cursing us a storm as they left. Back in the wagon, Barry laid down in the back as Magnus got them back on the road, groaning when Taako asked what had happened.

“Look, it was a lot of bad shit, and if I never have to do that—” he motioned with one hand before letting it fall to the wagon bed. “—again, I’ll be a happy man. Did you find Gundren?”

Taako stopped himself from replying with ‘ _does it look like we found Gundren?_ ’ as Merle and Magnus started to talk, bluffing Barry out in regards to the empty map canister he’d found and demanding to know exactly what was going on.

 

“—I’m his cousin! Why wouldn’t he trust me?” Merle asked, and Barry shrugged.

“Aren’t you like, his fourth cousin or something? From what he told me, you guys barely know each other.”

Merle paused, considering that. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Anyways,” Barry continued. “I don’t know anything about this Black Spider you mentioned, but I would love to go after them. After I have a nap for like, a month. We’re almost to Phandalin, right?”

“Yeah,” Magnus said from the front. “I think we’ll be there in like, five or so. Do you want us to drop you off at the first inn I see before I take this stuff to the drop off point?”

“Yes, please,” Barry said, a sentiment Taako quietly agreed with. He didn’t need to sleep, but he was feeling the itch of his gift again.

 

Merle volunteered to stay behind at the inn, just in case Barry bolted on them, and with Magnus in charge of dropping off the goods that left Taako to do what he needed.

After giving Barry his crate of things, Taako filched a bolt of grey cloth from the pile they were delivering before hopping out of the wagon.

“I’ll be back later, don’t leave without me,” he said, before heading to the nearby apothecary. Someone in there needed the cloth, whether they knew it or not.

* * *

 

An hour later, Taako walked into the inn and found Magnus, Merle, and Barry waiting at a table for him.

“Sorry, got a little caught up in some stuff,” he said, his pockets a little fuller than they had been before, sliding into an empty chair with a grin.

 

The cloth had gone to the woman manning the front of the apothecary. He then picked up several candles that went to a man who was standing next to the town’s well, talking to a child about...something. Taako had just given him the candles, it wasn’t like he was really paying any attention to what he was interrupting. A stop at one of the general stores had him holding three blankets, given to a group of old women, a bait and tackle set, given to a confused young girl, and several other small items that remained on his person, their recipients unknown.

If not for his lack of funds and space, he’d have bought more.

 

“Anyways,” Barry gave him an odd look but didn’t mention the feathers poking out of Taako’s breast pocket, even after Taako passed them off to a halfling woman walking past. “As you’ve probably guessed, the map that Gundren had on him was a fake. The real map, and you’ll have to trust me on this one, is in his body.”

After a second of confused silence, Barry reached down and pulled a roll of blank parchment out, putting it on the table. “No, trust me on this. Look, Gundren told me that his blood is the key to this map. He gave me a vial of his blood, but, well, I looked through all of my stuff and I couldn’t find it. But since you’re a cousin…” he trailed off, looking expectantly at Merle, who sighed.

“Yeah, okay.” He reached over for one of the forks sitting on the table, but Taako stopped him. “What?”

“Here, use this instead,” he said, pulling a sewing kit out of his pocket. “I don’t want to have to wait for you to get your fantasy tetanus shot before we can get going because you decided to use that—” he motioned to the fork with his head. “—to cut yourself open.”

Merle took the sewing kit, pulling out the needle with a grin. “Hey! I’ve been needing one of these, I’m missing so many buttons on my shirts,” he said as he jabbed into his hand a few times, letting a small stream of blood drip down onto the map. “Oh, wow you weren’t lying after all.”

The four of them watched as Merle’s blood formed a map, the Sword Mountains being the prominent location, and before long Magnus, Merle, and Taako were on their way to rescue Gundren from whoever the Black Spider was.

 

“So, remind me again why Barry didn’t come with us?” Taako asked, staring up at the slightly singed canvas that covered the back of the wagon as Magnus pulled into the brush.

“He said it’d be bad for business if he died due to being injured and exhausted,” Magnus replied, and Taako hummed. “Why don’t you remember? You were there.”

“I kinda tuned everything out once Merle got his blood all over the map,” Taako said, climbing out of the wagon to join Magnus and Merle at the entrance to Wave Echo Cave, wishing that his gift worked on himself. He would have liked a heads up that he’d need a warmer outfit for this trek.

“So. Wave Echo Cave. The name’s appropriate, at least,” Magnus said, leading the way.

 

It was brighter than Taako had expected inside, the walls glowing with a blue light which illuminated all the debris that littered the entrance. Bags of supplies were strewn about, as well as various pieces of mining equipment, and Taako was in the middle of sneaking small trinkets out of the bags and into his when Merle hissed.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked as Merle took a step back, revealing a dead dwarven figure. “Oh.”

“It’s one of my cousins, Tharden. Damn…” Merle stepped away from the body, and then it was Taako’s turn to hiss.

“Something wrong?” Magnus asked, leaning over, and Taako waved him back.

“Can you make sure Merle doesn’t look over here for a second? I need to give you his cousin’s shoes,” he replied, not waiting for Magnus to answer before crouching to pull the pair of loafers off of the dead dwarf. “Don’t ask me why, but these are yours now. And if he asks, you’ve had them the entire time, got it?”

Magnus nodded as Taako stood, taking the shoes just as Merle turned around to look at his dead cousin again.

“I can’t believe it! They even took his shoes, the monsters.”

Taako tsked, shaking his head in commiseration as he patted Merle on the back. “Terrible, just terrible.”


	2. Chapter 2

It didn’t take long for Taako to revise his previous opinion—Wave Echo Cave was _easily_ 100 times worse than the previous one. He would take tea with Klaarg and Percival any day over dealing with the slime monster that had eaten another of Merle’s cousins and voice-activated fungus he decided once they made their way out into fair sized room.

 

“Well, at least there’s nothing in here that wants to kill us,” Merle said, walking over to peer into the large grate in the middle of the room.

“Mhm.” Taako only grunted, looking around the room. His ‘gift’ was still bothering him, a sure sign that Magnus wasn’t the only one in the mine that Taako had to give something to. He was pretty sure about what he was giving them, at least; a simple iron ring that he’d picked up in some shop before Glamour Springs, and truthfully Taako couldn’t wait to be rid of it. “Let’s get out of here before something shows up then.”

Right as he said that, there was a loud crash as the door to the only other exit was kicked open. A tall orc woman walked through it, moving towards the edge as she leveled a giant crossbow at the three of them. Looking up at her, Taako beamed at the sight and stepped forwards.

“Hail and well met! I have something you need,” he said with a grin. “Do you want me to toss it to you, or can I come up there and give it to you?”

“I—” she looked down at him, baffled, before shaking her head. “No? Stay there, I’m trying to figure this out.”

“You should just let him give it to you,” Magnus called, and she frowned. “He’s not going to stop bugging you until you take whatever it is. What is it anyways?”

“Not for you, that’s what,” Taako snapped. “I already gave you your thing, this one is for her.

The woman mostly ignored them, before tapping her crossbow on the railing. “Uh, so…I’m trying to figure out what to do here. I mean, you guys seem, uh, nice, and I’d hate to have to kill you. Are you here for the—” The noise that came out of her mouth didn’t sound like common. Or elvish or gerblin or any of the other languages Taako knew. Looking to the side, he was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one who looked baffled by her gibberish.

“Uh, do you have something stuck in your throat? Some water might fix that,” Magnus said, and she almost looked relieved as Merle and Taako nodded in agreement.

“Okay, good, this is good. That means that I don’t have to shoot you with my crossbow,” she said, and Taako snorted.

“Great, thanks. Can I give you your thing now or what?”

“Ah, no. No, I think you guys should stay there and not follow me at all. So, how about you deal with this—” she pulled out something out of a pocket, and before they could ask her what she was talking about, one of the large pieces of machinery burst to life, starting to rumble as it moved across the floor towards them as she bolted.

“We have to go after her!” Taako yelled over the din, and the other two nodded.

“She might know something about Gundren! And I want to know about that kerszh thing she was talking about,” Merle yelled back, doing a poor imitation of the staticky words the woman had said as he shuffled back and away from the approaching piece of machinery. 

“I meant because I’m supposed to give her something!” With a frustrated shout, Taako cast thunderwave and sent the machinery sliding backwards, giving Magnus the chance to toss an armload of chains into it, gumming up the works.

By the time it finished rattling the three of them had climbed up to the door, just in time to hear the woman calling out for help. Taako rolled his eyes as Magnus immediately pushed past him to run down the hall. “After you!” he called as he and Merle followed.

 

Making his way into the next room Taako pointedly ignored everyone else inside—Magnus, Merle, a drow standing to the side, and a dwarf near a pit— and focused solely on the orc woman who’d been webbed to the wall.

“Well, you didn’t need it for this whole situation I guess,—” Taako grunted, pulling at the webbing despite the sound of people behind him shouting. “—but this is yours, so take it.” He shoved the ring into her mostly webbed hand, before spinning around. “What?! I’m _busy_.”

Magnus was standing between him and the drow, his hand on his axe while the drow was holding a smoking ball of _something_. Merle, on the other hand, was edging his way towards the pit, keeping an eye on them all as he shuffled along.

“Now darling, it’s rude to barge in like that,” the drow said, before spinning on his heels to point at Merle. “Ah ah ah, I don’t think so. I still need him, thank you.”

“He’s my cousin!” Merle snapped, but stopped moving. “You’re that Black Spider guy, aren’t you.”

The Black Spider bowed. “Hello, hello, welcome to my cave—I see that me reputation proceeds me. You can call me Brian, dears, and this is Killian.” He motioned to the orc woman, Killian, before smiling as she scowled. “Now, I have just a few questions for you.”

 

After introducing himself, Taako tuned out the conversation that Magnus and Merle were having with Brian. Or, rather, careful argument with the occasional incomprehensible noise that would come out of Brian’s mouth and that Merle and Magnus would poorly attempt to imitate. He clued back in to the conversation when Magnus rushed towards Brian, however.

“Oh, for the love of—” Ignoring how there was now apparently a giant spider in the room with them, Taako turned back to Killian and started pulling at the webbing again. “You have anything that can deal with that?!”

“I—Well—No? Maybe?” She managed to get one arm free, pulling at the web that encased the rest of her as Taako turned back to the fight. Magnus had knocked over the spider, using a set of chains that he’d apparently grabbed from the last chamber, and was attacking it’s eyes. Merle seemed to be casting something, but it didn’t seem to be working.

Then something large started to bang on the only other door to the room, Killian separated herself from the wall, and Taako launched a magic missile at the spider. Then Brian turned, casting his own spell, and Taako fell back into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

Now that Brian and his spider were both dead and Taako had drank a frankly disgusting health potion, he walked behind Gundren who was leading the way into another room. Sure, Killian had asked them to wait, but she’d gone down after something on Brian’s body and since everyone else was leaving the room, he followed.

The skeleton in the next room only caught his eye because of the umbrella it was holding, but once it tossed Merle across the room to the blatant surprise of his cousin, Taako couldn’t hold back his curiosity. The red sparks that surrounded it as he pulled it away from the red-robed skeleton, and he could swear that he’d locked eyes with it before it disintegrated, dust spinning across the ground.  

Ignoring how Gundren was gaping at him and Merle on the ground groaning, he swung it around a few times before letting it rest in the crook of his arm. Magnus looked up from helping Merle to his feet, and grinned. “Who are you giving that to then?” he asked.

“Uh, myself? I’m allowed to keep the things I find for _me_ , you know.” Taako sniffed, before letting Merle take over, questioning his cousin under a spell that made them all a little more truthful than Taako wanted. He wanted to keep his gold to himself, thank you very much. If he started splitting it with Merle and Magnus, he was never going to have enough to buy what he needed.

He watched as Gundren smeared his blood on a door, opening up a large vault that had…well…nothing in it except for a charred corpse with it’s arm in the air and a gauntlet on it’s hand. Then Killian returned and Gundren said some frankly racist things before putting the gauntlet on and disappearing in a blaze of fire.

 

* * *

 

 

On the way back to Phandalin, Taako found himself sitting with Killian as she drove the wagon, following the path of destruction left behind by Gundren.

“So,” Killian started, her voice sharp as they rounded a corner. “Why was it so important that you give me that ring?”

Taako shrugged. “It’s a family thing, ya’ know? I had the ring in my pocket because I knew I had to give it to someone, and you were that someone. I mean, I gave Merle a sewing kit the other day and Magnus got a set of chisels. You could have just as easily gotten a ball of twine or a handful of ball bearings.”

“But why me?” Killian said, frowning. “You’re not trying to hit on me, are you? Because—” Taako started to laugh, cutting her off and making both Magnus and Merle look to the front as he folded in on himself. “What?!”

After a while he sat up, wiping tears from his eyes. “I am not hitting on you, Killian—” he leaned in to whisper. “—I’m gay.”

“Oh.” Then Killian started to snicker. “Me too.”

“What’s so funny up there?” Merle asked, but Taako just shook his head and nudged Killian who snorted before nudging him back.

 

After a short diversion where they stopped some ruffians from taking an orc boy captive and let him go, the four of them found themselves riding into the empty streets of Phandalin. The burn marks led to the bar, and Taako climbed down from the wagon as Barry ran out the door and into the street.

“This- this is really bad! What happened to him, you guys?” he asked franticly as he made his way over to them, not even bothering to look twice at Killian. “We have to get him to calm down.”

She sighed. “He’s right. We won’t be able to get that glove off of him if he isn’t calm—”

Then Gundren stepped out into the street and everything went ass backwards.

 

* * *

 

 

Climbing out of the well, Taako wasn’t sure what he’d see but the desolate circle of black glass was not what he’d expected. There was no trace of Phandalin except for the well and the charred corpse of Gundren, his arm, and the glove, to the sky.

Turning, he saw Magnus start to tie Killian up and frowned. “Do you really need to do that?”

“Well, I mean she could have done a better job of warning us about this, and she did try to kill us with a piece of machinery,” Magnus said, finishing tying her up. “I didn’t think you’d be so buddy-buddy with her.”

“We bonded on the ride back from the cave,” Taako said, waving a hand as he approached the gauntlet. “I got that umbrella when Merle couldn’t. Do you think I can grab this too?”

Merle gave him a wary look. “Not to use it, right?”

“Nah. Do I look like an idiot?” Taako crouched down to give it a better look, before shaking his head and backing up. Something like his gift was telling him to take the gauntlet and use it. “Yo, this thing wants me to wear it, so I’ll just leave it be for now.”

“Probably a good idea,” Merle said, before casting healing word and waking her up.

Killian blinked and tried to sit up, but didn’t fight her bonds. Instead she sighed, looked the three of them over, and smiled. “I guess…we didn’t save Phandalin, huh. Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.” Taako sat on the glassy ground beside her, before motioning to the side. “I wasn’t part of the committee who decided to tie you up, bee tee dubs. But since you’re here… what the hell?”

Killian sighed. “Look, I really can’t explain, not right now. If—wait.” She turned her head and frowned. “You haven’t tried to take it?”

The three of them shook their heads, and Killian visibly relaxed. “Okay, that’s—wow. If you untie me, I’ll bring you guys with me, I can get you in. Give you a real explanation. One of us needs to grab that though,” she gestured with her head. “And I’d really like my things back too.”

 

Taako rushed back to the gauntlet and shoved it into his bag, returning just in time to see a large sphere land in front of Killian.

“Well guys, uh, ready to go?” she asked, opening it and motioning for them all to climb in. “And prepare to have your minds blown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I finished writing this at 3 am and I have no self-control so I might edit this a bit tomorrow after I get some sleep :P  
> I hope how I skip around isn't too jarring, but I want to focus on what is changing and I also don't want to write a word-for-word retelling of the story.
> 
> * * *
> 
> * Let Killian and Taako be friends. Let them go on double dates together and walk around going 'move we're gay' whenever anyone is in the way  
> * I wanted to keep Brian alive, but alas it was not to be :( Sorry Brian, better luck next fic  
> * idk why but Here There be Gerblins was kinda frustrating to work with but I can't wait to get to the rest of the plot and to throw some of my own plot in there too.  
> * If you have any ideas of what Taako has on him let me know because right now I jsut plan on having him buy out the Fantasy Costco in the next chapter :P
> 
> * * *
> 
> Taako's Pockets:  
> Individual Nails (3) | Ball of Twine (1)  
> Pinwheel (1) | Ball Bearings (87)  
> Pieces of Chalk (3.5) | Pen (1)  
> Lock with No Key (1) | Sealing Wax (3)  
> Whistle (1) | Cork (5)  
> Misc. Loose Earrings (7) | Orange Lipstick (1 Tube)  
> Violin Strings (3 Packets) | Thumb Tacks (32)  
> Sewing Kit (1) | Lockpicks (4)  
> Glovey (1)
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Personal Tumblr](http://happyleech.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Taako really hadn’t expected the orb that Killian had called down to carry them up to the moon. It was better than riding in a wagon by far, and he relaxed as he poked through his pockets again. He had no idea if the people he’d helped in Phandalin were okay, if the things he’d give them had led to them leaving the town and surviving the glassing. Part of him said he didn’t care, but a larger part said he really did.

“So, uh, you guys really aren’t suppose to be up here, so once we dock I’ll go talk to the —the boss. It can be a little disorientating though, so just hang tight?” Killian said as they approached the moon, bouncing her leg up and down. “They don’t have benches in there, but you should be good if you just sit on the steps.”

They all felt a jostle as they came to a halt, and as Killian motioned for them to follow her out of the orb Taako nearly stumbled. Everything felt _wrong_ and if not for the fact that Magnus and Merle were also looking somewhat queasy he’d think that there was something else in the health potion they’d taken from Klaarg.

“Yeah, just—just sit down and I’ll be right back,” Killian said, rushing out of the room as the three of them sunk down onto the steps. Magnus put his head between his legs to try and steady himself, Merle closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths, and Taako leaned against the railing. He wasn’t sure if it was the place or his gift that was making everything feel both fuzzy and sharp, but he didn’t like it.

“Hey, you guys aren’t looking so hot. Take a swig of this, it’ll help.” A man came into view, and Taako looked at the flask he was holding out with some distrust. “It’s just brandy—the good stuff too.”

“I’ll pass. I’m not one for the go-gurt when I’m feeling like this,” Taako said, letting Magnus and Merle drink. The man, Avi, gave him an odd look, but he didn’t feel like explaining his other magical issue at the moment. If he wanted to ask about it later, so be it.

 

Not long after Killian returned and Magnus had promised to spend some time with Avi, Taako found himself standing in front of the largest fish tank he’d ever seen. Johann, the keeper of the large tank, held out a vial of black liquid for Taako, rambling as he and the others looked at it.

“So, like, you guys can’t go back from this, you know?” Johann said. “I mean, you can’t undrink this stuff.”

“Yeah, well,” Taako held it up like he was toasting Merle, as Magnus had already drunk his, before tipping it back. He closed his eyes, the taste of key lime go-gurt familiar in the same way the memories were.

The Relic Wars. The words that Killian and Brian had been saying in Wave Echo Cave. The fact that he was standing in a moon base. Taako blinked rapidly, his nausea and unsteady feet gone and his gift practically _screaming_ at him.

“You guys feeling okay? Uh, Bureau of Balance, that’s going through for you?” Johann asked, taking Merle and Magnus’ vials. Taako tucked his away for later, because he never knew when someone would need a vial for something, and handed Johann the three packets of violin strings instead. “Oh, thanks?”

“No problem. So, who’s the jellyfish?” Taako motioned to where Magnus was staring star-struck at a giant, star filled jellyfish.

“Uh, it’s the Voidfish. It’s why you guys are remembering right now, and why you didn’t before,” Johann said, before sighing as someone else entered the room. “Well, I guess you guys should go talk to the Director now. One of the guys can get the elevator for you.”

 

One of the guards did, looking confused as Taako shoved his other sewing kit into his hands before the doors shut, taking them back up to where Killian was waiting.

“So, how’d it go?” Killian was leaning up against the wall, but pushed off of it when they exited the elevator. “I’ll show you to the Directors office, and she can give you more details, but…Welcome to the Bureau.”

“So, what’s the pay like here?” Merle asked, and Killian laughed as she lead them towards yet another domed building.

Inside, there was a long, carpeted hall that led to a tall woman, clad in blue who Taako just knew needed a new pen.

“Hello and welcome to the—oh, thank you?” Taako ignored everything and held the pen out in her direction before stepping back between Magnus and Merle. “I am the Director, and welcome to the Bureau of Balance. Killian has told me about what you have done for us, and I will go into more details, but first I must ask for the gauntlet.”

“It did just destroy an entire town,” Merle pointed out. “And a good chunk of my extended family. What are you going to do with it?”

The Director sighed, setting the pen to the side. “Destroy it. It is what we do here, at the Bureau. We hunt down dangerous, powerful artifacts and put an end to the terror they caused. You will, of course, be paid for bringing in the gauntlet.” Turning away from them, she called for someone else to join them. “Davenport! Can you come in here, please?”

From another room a gnomish man appeared, tail twitching as he surveyed the room. “Davenport,” he said, holding up a tray with a sack of coins on it for them to see, and Taako nearly frowned. Something somewhere inside was yelling that this was not how it was supposed to be, but he couldn’t for the life of him think of what was wrong.

“Yeah, okay, that sounds like a good idea,” Magnus said, and Taako reached in his things for the gauntlet. “One condition though—I want to see it get destroyed. I don’t want whatever _that_ was to happen again.”

 

* * *

 

 

Once the gauntlet had been destroyed and Taako had taken his share of the money, he listened to the Director talk about their less-than-stellar track rate with finding the artifacts like the gauntlet, which was apparently one of seven. She had just finished talking about some kind of test, one where he billed himself as the bravest, and Taako found himself with the unpleasant taste in his mouth that meant he’d been knocked out. Standing, he checked and was relieved to see that he had all of his things, umbrella included. Magnus and Merle were also there, although he was the only one on the ground. Before he could say anything to them though, the Director started to speak and the test was on.

Why’d he volunteer to be the bravest? Taako slipped away from the ogres, letting them fight it out as Magnus did something with robots above him and Merle played around with some kind of potion cannon. Then Magnus ripped off a robot’s arms, all but one of the ogres died, and he got flung across the room. With one last disparaging look at his shattered wand, he grabbed for the umbrella and swung it towards the raging green ogre. He’d expected the magic missiles that shot from it, using it as a focus, but not how powerful they were.

 

On the way back to the Director’s office, alongside Merle and Magnus, who was swinging around his robot arms, Taako turned the umbrella over in his hands. Hopefully the artificer the Director had mentioned would be able to tell him more about it. First though, they had to slip past a sudden throng of people who were all talking over each other to talk to them. Killian, standing next to a very short dragonborn woman, gave them a thumbs up as they reached the Director.

“Congratulations, and welcome to the Bureau of Balance. I hope you don’t mind the crowd—it’s been some time since we’ve had new reclaimers join us,” she said, before clasping a bracer each onto their left arms. “If you have any questions, I’m sure one of our other members will be able to help. Robbie, Robbie where are you?” A halfling walked out of the crowd, waving. “Robbie there will show you to your quarters when you’re ready, but I’d recommend going to visit Leon three domes to your right first.”

Taako stared into the crowd of people. Someone in there needed some ball bearings. Someone else needed a vial of ink. Someone needed a lock or some chalk or 5 thumb tacks— He let Merle guide him out of the space and Magnus grabbed his token, and it was only when they were in the artificer’s office could he breath again.

“You good, buddy?” Merle asked, and Taako nodded.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere where so many people needed things,” he said, before turning to Leon. “Here, what’s up with this umbrella?”

As Leon began to talk about the Umbra Wizards and the powerful new replacement for his wand, Taako stuck a stick of sealing wax on the counter. The gnome would find it eventually, probably right when it was needed. The capsule machines were interesting, and Taako could barely keep a straight face as he messed with Leon, but he couldn’t doubt that each of them had gotten something interesting, Magnus most of all.

 

“How on earth does one fit an axe into a fantasy capsule machine?” Merle was saying as they began to follow Robbie to wherever they’d be living when Taako came to a full stop. “Uh, you good?”

“We are taking a detour to the Fantasy Costco. I think my card is still current,” he started to mutter as he wandered in that direction, leaving Magnus and Merle to follow after with Robbie as he dug in his pockets.

Luckily Taako still had a year and a half before his card expired and he left the others to their own devices as he started to shop. He didn’t really need bulk in anything, but he had money to burn and a moon base full of people who needed things.

“Can I help you with anything?” A loud voice from behind him almost made Taako jump, but he refused to let the person see that he’d been startled.

“Nope,” he said, drawing out the word as he dropped three ‘unlimited pasta passes’ into his cart, alongside a box labeled ‘wand of switcheroo’, a redemption card for a stone of farspeech, a 500pc box of post it notes, a redemption card for a ring of pointing, a three-pack of loose leaf peach tea, and a better bag of holding than the one he was using. “Got what I need right here, m’man.”

The person looked into Taako’s cart, then back at him. “That’s a lot of pasta passes you have there,” they said, following alongside Taako as he looked at a 48 pc Fantasy Pot of Gold, comparing it to the 48 pc Fantasy Ferrero Rocher.

“Candlenights shopping. Better to get it done early or not at all, am I right? Now, where are the pringles?”

 

Taako left the Fantasy Costco with 5 bags of things and without a single gold piece to his name, and stared at the accommodations they were given. Robbie was not only in charge of showing them to their quarters, but he was also their roommate.

“Top bunk’s mine,” he said motioning to the right bunkbed. “I don’t think I snore but no one’s complained to me yet!” He started to laugh as he climbed onto the top bunk, pulling a bottle of something out from under his pillow. “You guys want a drink? I make the dopest potions.”

Taako quickly climbed to the other top bunk in the room, sitting cross legged on it and giving Merle and Magnus a look that said ‘ _try me_ ’. “I’ll pass. I’ve got places to be and people to give things to,” he said, digging in his bags. There were some things he could probably put off until later, but he was going to be running around the goddamn moon base for hours at this point.

At least what Robbie needed was easy to figure out.

 

Luckily for Taako, the supper hour was just starting and while he really wasn’t in the mood for half-assed cooking, he was both starving and on a mission. He found Avi first, dumping a handful of ball bearings into his hand and leaving the table before he could ask why. Next was an orc man who barely got a chance to introduce himself as Brad before Taako ran off, leaving him with a ball of twine. He found Killian talking to the next person he was looking for, and he left her to explain to Carey why he’d given her two lockpicks and a cork. He darted through the line to give one of the cooks several recipe cards, blank because the last thing he wanted was someone to see his recipes and know it was him who’d killed all those people in Glamour Springs and then he’d be in jail, lickity split.

He took a break long enough to grab a disappointing dinner roll off of Magnus’s plate and a plate of what he assumed was supposed to be stir-fry before he was off again, following his gift until even the umbrastaff seemed to be pulling him towards bed.  

Shimmying into his sleeping sack, Taako had to admit that, even with the destruction of an entire town, fighting three ogres, suffering though the cafeteria food, dealing with the entity in the Fantasy Costco, it had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can safely say that this is probably going to be my longest fanfic, and I'm only at chapter 3. Now that I've gotten past Here Be Gerblins, I'm pretty sure that the fic is going to come easier for me and, hopefully, be more interesting~
> 
> * * *
> 
> * After Killian explained to Carey what Taako was doing, Carey asked what he'd given her and Killian clammed up  
> * While writing this chapter I realized that I can make things Angsty in the penpal fic so this is your advanced warning  
> * I actually love Robbie/Pringles a lot? I have a lot of thoughts about him and I should finish his character fic  
> * Taako knows that something is up re: Davenport and he's going to know things are up even more once he starts giving him things  
> * I didn't mention it yet but there is 100% an apple tree in the quad/green space on the moon  
> * I wonder who that magnifying glass is going to...
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Items Taako Has:**  
>  Individual Nails (3) | Blank Recipe Cards (9) | Pinwheel (1) | Ball Bearings (53)  
> Pieces of Chalk (3.5) | Unlimited Pasta Pass (3) | Lock with No Key (1) | Sealing Wax (2)  
> Whistle (1) | Cork (4) | Misc. Loose Earrings (7) | Orange Lipstick (1 Tube)  
> Thumb Tacks (32) | Loose Leaf Peach Tea (3 Canisters) | Lockpicks (2) | Post It Notes (455 pc)  
> Salt and Vinegar Pringles (3 Canisters) | Ink (3 vials) | Nail Polish of Assorted Colours (5 Bottles) | Top Coat (4)  
> Tea Lights (1 Set of 10) | Magnifying Glass (1) | Empty Voidfish Ichor Vial (1) | Candied Garlic (1 Tin)  
> Assorted Flower Seeds (4 Packs) | Rose Scented Hand Cream (1 Tube)  
> Elastic Band Ball (1 Ball; 4000 Elastic Bands) | Map of Faerûn’s Seas (1)
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Personal Tumblr](http://happyleech.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

Since joining the Bureau, Taako let himself embrace the little bit of fame he, Magnus, and Merle had generated by bringing in and destroying one of the grand relics. It wasn’t quite the same caliber as what Taako had experienced during Sizzle, but it was still nice. What Taako also enjoyed was how the people of the Bureau reacted to his gift.

Avi had found him in the cafeteria the day after their initiation, picking at what looked like cooked eggs but tasted like sadness, and had thanked him with a bottle of brandy for giving him what he needed to fix a grinding sound in the hanger. Leon had approached him the next day, begrudgingly thanking him for the stick of sealing wax and asking if he could be a slight bit more considerate next time he visited the gashapon, causing Taako to laugh in his face. Johann had motioned him over that night and told him that while most of the strings weren’t for the violin he used, he was still able to repair a frayed string before it snapped. Carey just grinned as she held up a now corked canteen before dashing off after Killian into the training wing.

What Taako _didn’t_ enjoy was how late his gift kept him up most nights.

As an elf he didn’t really need to sleep, meditation was technically enough to keep him functioning, but Taako liked to sleep. Even with the night terrors, sleep was preferable.

Which was why when the three of them were summoned by the Director one morning, only two hours after Taako managed to drag himself into his sleepysack, he refused to get up.

“Come—” Merle yawned as Magnus talked to Robbie. “—come on Taako.”

“Fuuuuuuck off,” Taako grumbled, rolling over and trying to bury his head under his pillow. “M’tired, Merle. Not movin’.”

Magnus laughed, finished talking to Robbie, before pulling at the edge of Taako’s sack. “Let’s go, Taako. Don’t wanna keep the Director waiting.” Taako grumbled again, before nearly shrieking as Magnus lifted him off the bunkbed and into his arms. “I’ll carry you.”

“Nooooo…”

* * *

 

“What…are you two—where is Taako?”

“Right here, see? You can see his ears! He didn’t want to get up, so I just grabbed him.”

“…I see. Why aren’t you dressed? This _is_ a work-related meeting.”

“We kinda panicked. We can go and get dressed and come back if you want?”

“No, no, get dressed after this briefing. Now, we have an issue. One of our reclaimers found the next relic, but was killed…”

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later Taako was somewhat awake, entirely confused, and leaning up against a slightly tipsy Magnus while Merle talked to Avi. Somehow, in between giving Robbie the rest of his pringles stash and getting dressed, Magnus had managed to get himself sloshed.

Avi stared at the pair of them, then looked at Merle. “Are…they okay? Is the Director sure you guys should head down now?”

Merle shrugged. “She seemed to think it was pretty important to get going now. It’s not going to be an issue, is it?”

“Uh…no. Just make sure to pull the lever before you hit the ground or we’ll be looking for some new reclaimers.” Avi laughed a little as he called down one of the orbs. “Oh, Taako, I’ve got some spare odds and ends if you want them? And Magnus? Try not to be so drunk next time…I really shouldn’t be letting you go when you’re like this.”

“Awwww…” Taako both did and didn’t want to know what was in the potion that Robbie had given Magnus to make him so inebriated, but he wished that it hadn’t make Magnus so clingy. “Are you coming too, Avi?”

“I—no, Magnus. I have to stay up here. Do you want a hand getting in, or can you guys handle it?” Avi popped their transport open and motioned for them to get in.

Taako could feel Magnus grinning as he hung off of him. “Ain’t no one who can handle me—oof!” He stumbled as Taako gave him a shove, before sprawling in one of the seats, frantically waving at Avi. “I’m okay!”

“I will one hundred percent take those bits n’ bites, Avi. Now, where are we going again?” Taako followed Magnus into the orb, ignoring another worried look from Avi and a sigh from Merle.

* * *

 

Despite basically crash-landing into a swamp, fighting off a handful of leeches, and being hosed off of slime in Tom Bodett’s backyard, somehow the three of them managed to get onto the train with time to spare. Not much, but enough that Taako was able to pass off Avi’s bag of miscellaneous odds and ends to the Tom Bodett who was manning the ticket station before the climbed onto the train.

“Tickets and weapons please, tickets and weapons,” Taako only half-paid attention to the trains engineer as he took their tickets and weapons from Magnus and Merle, choosing to focus on the atrocious accent that Merle was putting on. He had gotten a run down of what they were doing—Leeman Kessler had died, he’d found a grand relic, they needed to impersonate him to get it back—but he was sure that at no time did anyone say that Merle needed to talk like _that_.

“So, uh, Justin,” Taako looked up as they walked into the passenger car at Magnus who playing with his gauntlet. “Is there anyone here that you need to, you know?”

Taako rolled his eyes. “There’s always someone that needs something, _Diddly_. It’s not like it ever takes a break, I don’t get a day off from being a portable junk shop, _Diddly_.”

God, maybe Magnus was still under the influence when he’d picked out that name. At least ‘ _Justin_ ’ sounded somewhat legitimate.

There were only three other people in the passenger car, a dwarven woman who could probably bench-press Magnus if she wanted, a child who was probably the second best dressed person on the train with a pile of books in his booth, and a man who was probably the worst dressed person on the train although Taako had to give him points for wearing a robe with ‘ _Juicy_ ’ printed on the butt.

As they moved towards the sleeping car, Taako reached into his bag, pulling out a magnifying glass called the Lens of Straight Creepin’ that had cost more than he though necessary, and dropped it on the table in front of the child. The young boy looked up at him, but before he could say anything, Taako shut the sliding door behind them.

On the other side of the door was another train employee, and Taako instantly disliked him. Maybe it was the voice, maybe it was how Jenkins acted, maybe it was the stupid bowtie that seemed to catch Magnus’s eyes, maybe it was how he said the words ‘ _pleasure rooms’_ , but Taako just didn’t like the other elf. That meant that Jenkins was due for some Taako-brand mockery based around his magical abilities. Or lack there for of.

“I didn’t know you needed to be so careful about conserving spell slots on this train,” Taako said, brushing an invisible bit of lint off of his shirt, snorting as Magnus and Merle joined in on the ribbing. How could he not mock Jenkins, when he complained about carrying an axe by hand to the cargo car when he had magic at hand. “Who knew that the Rockport Limited was such a dangerous line—maybe you shouldn’t have given up your weapon, Diddly.”

“I—that isn’t it, Justin,” Jenkins said, frowning. “The next car is the dining car and after that the cargo car. Now, if you’d excuse me, there appears to be an issue on the line…”

“Do be careful not to use any of your all-important spell slots, Jenkins dear,” he called to the elfs back, waiting for him to leave the car before turning to face Magnus and Merle. “I’m taking a nap.”

“Shouldn’t we, you know, look for the thing?” Merle asked even as they followed Taako into their shared sleeper car. It was small, but it was no different from sharing a room with Robbie and Taako heaved himself up onto one of the beds.

“My man, I’ve been running on next to no sleep and even I understood that no one can open that cryptosafe thing except the engineer, and that won’t happen until we hit Neverwinter. So you can either let me sleep, or I will launch you off of this train and we’ll have two dead Leeman Kessler’s on our hands.”

* * *

 

After a nap that was in no way long enough for Taako’s liking, he found himself sitting at a table in the dining car next to the child that he’d given the magnifying glass to. Magnus was talking to Jenkins, somehow managed to mix condensation and flattery together as he asked him about the pleasure room and where they could visit with it. Merle, on the other hand, was talking to Juicy about Pan, which was going poorly, and trains, which was going better.

“My name is Angus McDonald, what is your name, sir?” The fancy child had tucked the magnifying glass into his breast pocket, the lens wrapped in his pocket square and the handle poking out into view, and he looked up from his book as Taako slumped in the booth opposite of him.

“Call me Justin,” Taako leaned on the table, looking at Angus. What kind of child wore an outfit with a pocket square? The same child that also was also wearing a button up, vest, jacket, and had a capelet hung on a hook at the side of the booth along side a matching cap. Taako had to admire the dedication to the theme. “You been to Neverwinter before, pumpkin?”

He nodded. “Yes! I visit often. What about you, sir?” Angus closed his book, Caleb something or other, and set it with three others and a notebook. If the kid was looking for good conversation, he probably wasn’t going to get it from Taako.

“Eh, been there a few times,” Taako shrugged, before reaching over to look at one of the books. Kid detective, missing jewels, standard fare stuff. It was well loved, though, from the state of the binding. “Is this why I gave you the magnifying glass? You fancy yourself a sleuth?”

Angus grinned. “I’m the worlds greatest detective! My other magnifying glass shattered a few days ago while I was on a case, and I just hadn’t had a chance to get myself a new one.”

“Yeah? What kinda case were you working on, pumpkin?” He probably modeled himself after the book character, so Taako wouldn’t be surprised if ‘ _lost cat_ ’ was Angus’s answer.

“A kidnapping of a resident of Rockport by a necromantic cult. I can’t really talk about the details, though, not until the militia gives me the go ahead.”

Or…not. Instead of asking how or why a human child was involved with a militia investigation like that because it was none of his business, Taako turned in his seat. “Hey! Juicy, catch!”

He tossed the tin of ginger candies over Merle’s head to the other wizard, who fumbled but managed to catch it before it hit the ground.

“Oh, hey! Thanks.” Juicy opened the tin, sticking a piece of ginger in his mouth. “My name is Graham though.”

“Sure thing, Juicy. Hey, Jenkins, what’s an elf gotta do to get some food round here? Or is feeding us a waste of your spell slots too?” Jenkin’s turned to Taako, looking like he was both happy to get away from Magnus’s inane questions, and annoyed that it was Taako who was giving him the escape.

“…Brunch service will start momentarily. Excuse me, Diddly—I can offer you and your compatriots a trip in the pleasure room once everyone has eaten.” Jenkins said, escaping into the kitchen before Magnus or Merle could trip him up with more questions.

“Uhm, excuse me, sir? Is his name really Diddly?” Angus asked, and Taako grimaced.

“Unfortunately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my name is Shelly and I love???? Angus McDonald???? also I didn't want to write the leech fight scene so I didn't  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> * * *
> 
> * Imagine Lucretia calling THB in to tell them about Leeman Kessler's death and give them their mission and there's Magnus holding what is basically a sleeping bag with elf ears poking out of the top  
> * Don't imagine Lucretia looking at Magnus holding Taako in his sleepysack and remembering the probably numerous other times that Davenport would call a meeting and someone would walk into the Starblaster's living room holding a bundle of blankets with a sleeping Taako inside  
> * K I super super suuuuuuper love Ango and Taako interacting and talking a lot sooooo yeah  
> * Angus is dressed fancy so by god I'm going to make him the fanciest fucking child on the face of the goddamn planet  
> * I know that the Lens of Straight Creepin' is a Magnus thing but idk, now it belongs to Angus  
> * Taako is going to empty more stuff out of his inventory in the next chapter  
> * Diddly is the worst goddamn fake name I have ever looked at, listened to, read, or written. Why, Travis. Why  
> * Number of times I wrote Travis instead of Magnus: 4  
> * Number of times I wrote Justin, changed it to Taako, then remembered that Justin was Taako's fake name and changed it back: t o o m a n y t i m e s
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Items Taako Has:**  
>  Individual Nails (3) | Blank Recipe Cards (9) | Pinwheel (1) | Ball Bearings (53)  
> Pieces of Chalk (3.5) | Unlimited Pasta Pass (3) | Lock with No Key (1) | Sealing Wax (2)  
> Whistle (1) | Cork (4) | Misc. Loose Earrings (7) | Orange Lipstick (1 Tube)  
> Thumb Tacks (32) | Loose Leaf Peach Tea (3 Canisters) | Lockpicks (2) | Post It Notes (455 pc)  
> Ink (3 vials) | Nail Polish of Assorted Colours (5 Bottles) | Top Coat (4)  
> Tea Lights (1 Set of 10) | Empty Voidfish Ichor Vial (1) | Assorted Flower Seeds (4 Packs)  
> Rose Scented Hand Cream (1 Tube) | Elastic Band Ball (1 Ball; 4000 Elastic Bands) | Map of Faerûn’s Seas (1)
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Personal Tumblr](http://happyleech.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I was working on a different TAZ oneshot about Carey and Killian and cake, but tripped and fell face first into this one instead so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> I'd read a fic a few years ago that crossed over with Garden Spells, and I finally took it out of the library and fell in love with it and the characters so I decided to write this.  
> Hopefully you guys like reading this as much as I liked writing it!
> 
> * * *
> 
> * The apples are important. Not the ones in the wagon but the ones Taako stole  
> * Taako's aunt's 'gift' was subtle magic within her cooking- The honeysuckle wine helped people to see in the dark  
> * I haven't decided what Lup's 'gift' is yet  
> * Back when Taako had Sizzle it Up, every space that wasn't taken up with cooking supplies was filled with...stuff  
> * Should I make a list of what Taako has on him for the end of each chapter?  
> * Putting the word 'fantasy' infront of other things is way too much fun
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Personal Tumblr](http://happyleech.tumblr.com/)


End file.
